Bored of always coming last? Be the priority.
If I was to tell you that you don’t have to be ‘busy’ all the time, that you don’t need to feel like you are constantly running off empty, that you don’t need to rely on caffeine, sugar, carbs or alcohol to get you through; would you listen?
If I was to tell you that 8 hours of sleep every single night is more than possible, that you can have an abundance of energy, that you do not need to live with anxiety and you do not need the approval of others to feel worthy or respected; would you take note?
If I was to tell you that there is one simple way to get exactly what you want, one simple way to have more time and more energy, one simple way to feel more joy, to love everything about yourself, to feel so healthy that you are glowing from the inside out; would you believe me?
No doubt you have tried all the quick fixes, the crash diets, the detoxes, the hardcore exercise regime, the slimming knickers; you have worked the late nights, said yes to everyone, tried to do everything, answer every email, been at every meeting, but I guess you still aren’t where you want to be? I guess you feel even more exhausted than you have ever felt, more unhealthy than you have ever felt. I guess you actually don’t even feel like you anymore.
So one simple change you hear me say. Too good to be true right?
Living a life that you want to live, that you love, in which you feel inexcusably healthy and happy is within reach for all of us. But some of us have it, some of us don’t. Why? It’s simple and actually more simple than you may believe.
It all comes down to what you prioritise. Do you prioritise your needs, or the needs of others? Do you spend time becoming more of who you want to become, building a life that you want, or do you run around after everyone else and their demands, sacrificing your own health, both mentally and physically?
When you constantly keep saying yes to everyone else, when do you have a moment to focus on you, to listen to what you want and what your body needs? How much self-respect do you have to put yourself first, to put your health first, to do what is right for you? We live in a society where it is seen as a bad thing if we put ourselves ahead of others, where we would be seen as ‘selfish’ ‘rude’ or ‘ignorant’. But how can you look after others if you can’t look after yourself, if you aren’t fully functioning?
You believe you need the approval of others to be valued, so you make them a priority ahead of yourself. You don’t look after your health, you don’t work towards your goals, you don’t create a life that you want to live because ‘you are too busy’ doing everyone else's work. You become so far removed from being the person that you want to be that you don’t even recognise yourself anymore. As you chase around after everyone else and their approval, you are sacrificing your own valuable time. You neglect your health, forgo sleep, you don’t feed your body properly, you exercise too much or conversely not at all. You have no balance because you “don’t have time for it”. You live in a constant state of stress and rush, in which you ignore your body, and you lose sight of the bigger picture, forgetting who you really are and what you want from life and what is important to you.
But really, it comes down to where you are prioritising your time.
When you start to respect yourself enough to prioritise yourself, when you value your time to keep more of it for you, that is when you look after your wellbeing, your health, when you have more energy, and you can create more space to build the life that you want to live. When you aren’t wasting energy on chasing after other people’s approval, fulfilling their needs and their wants, you can start to fulfil your own. When you stop chasing the approval of others and start to approve of yourself and prioritise what is right for you that is when you grow and that is when you begin to get what you want from your life.
So where do you start? Good question. Let me give you my 3 top tips as to how to begin to make you your priority, how to open up time and space to allow you to focus on you, your well-being, your goals:
- Diarisie time for you and DO NOT let anyone else interrupt it. Literally put it in your diary, just like you do for everything else.
- Say no more. Stop feeling like you need to say yes to everyone. Value your time. Value your well-being. Prioritise yourself over the demands of others.
- Prioritise your health. When you feel healthy and focus on your well-being, you will not only start to see physiological benefits but you will have more energy, more confidence and more mental clarity to help you work towards your goals. Include exercise in your regime, but keep in balanced between high and low-intensity and make sure you have rest days! Ensure you get enough sleep and that you are feeding your body properly with plenty of whole foods, vegetables and home-made meals.
Remember be the priority and work everything else around that.
Fiona is a Health and Life coach, specialising in helping you to rise up from low self esteem, stress and burnout, helping you take back your self respect and learn how to put you first. Discover how she can help you here.