The Power of Asking 'What If' by Faye Kilgour, The What If coach


Have you ever felt your life has no meaningful direction? Frustrated about your circumstances? Confused about what to do next? Or simply without inspiration? I suspect your answer is yes to one or may be even all of these.


I hear you. I used to feel this way too. If I may, I’d like to tell you a bit about myself and my story, in the hope I can inspire you and give you an easy strategy for moving yourself through similar emotions.

Let’s wind back to five or so years ago. I’d been living in London for a few years, was working as a Personal Assistant, had a pretty active social life and on the surface, everything was pretty good. But underneath it all, deep down I felt I was meant for more and buried the sadness that this created inside of me. As we know, any buried emotion will come out in another way and for me that was late nights, far too many hangovers and a lot of complaining and judging of others. But one evening everything changed. I was having dinner with a friend and as I continued my usual complaining about my job and my circumstances, she boldly suggested a personal development course I might be interested in. More eager than ever to help myself move forward, I jumped at the chance and booked myself on the course, and boy did it change my life!


I had never realised that most, if not all, of the experiences in my life were created by my own perspective. That any way I saw a situation was simply just ONE of thousands of possible perspectives I could take on it.


Our perspective is a choice and we get to choose over and over again, every single day.

Fast forward to today, I have qualified as a Life Coach and travelled all over the UK to coach and train educators and professionals. I am also in the 3rd year of my BSc (Hons) Psychology degree, something I would never have dreamed of doing only a few years ago. And most surprisingly of all to me, I recently married my wonderful Brazilian husband with whom I share a fantastic life.


Why am I telling you this? Because I truly believe when we understand our perspective creates EVERYTHING, we have the power and choice to see life differently and take new action. It dawned on me when I was working with my coaching clients I was always asking ‘What if….?’. What if you could see this situation differently? What if you were more powerful than you ever imagined? What if you took that action towards your dreams? What if you let go of what others think and made a decision for YOU? And this always opened doors for them that were previously closed or even invisible.


So my tip if you are stuck and can’t seem to move forward is to ask yourself 3 powerful ‘what if’ questions and really indulge in your answers. No one else is going to make your life as magical as you deserve, only you have this power. I know it is not always easy, but it is simple. Simply take the next right step, then the next and before you know it, you will have begun to walk a whole new path. 


Here are some questions to play with:


What would I like to be different in my life?


What is my current perspective of the situation? (e.g. frustrated, annoyed, thinking of giving up)


What if I chose to see it differently?


What if I took responsibility for my part in it?


If I could have what I really wanted, what would it look like? What would it feel like?


What is one small action I can take today to move towards what I want?


What if my commitment begins to fade, how will I keep myself on track?




Faye specialises in supporting women to go from feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and lost to feeling inspired, focused and ready to indulge in the ‘What If’ of life.

Be sure to follow Faye on Instagram via @thewhatifcoach for more coaching insights, inspiring videos and lots of tips and tricks for breaking free from feeling stuck. To find out more about her story or to work with her one to one, make sure you visit her website and sign up for her newsletter